Feelings are a hectic thing. Specially when you act on them. The guilt. The suspicion. What you don’t want to hear. What you hear. What you want and what’s best for you. It’s a tricky thing.
They say the truth sets you free. How come I feel more lost than ever. My emotions are everywhere. But I do know one thing. I know what I want and I know what myself and my child deserve. I was raised very differently. I didn’t get a single parent manual. What I might think is right might be wrong for you. Were all different we think differently. We raise our kids differently. What might be good for him might not be what’s best for you. What is best for you might not be what’s best for him. It’s always going to be a 50/ 50 shot. No ones perfect. One thing is clear and I’ve learned is you have to be okay first. You need to do what’s best for you in order to know what’s best for your child. If not your useless and miserable and life shouldn’t be that hard. Parenting shouldn’t be one way or the other.
However, I want to raise my child very differently then how most of us were raised. So here are a couple of things, I want in my child’s life.
- Good values: those are highly important. To respect people, to be kind no matter how horrible someone treats you.
- To love: to love someone unconditionally no matter what others think because at the end of the day it’s going to be his life. To show it daily in the most smallest ways. It’s the little things that count.
- To believe in marriage and building a family: we live in a generation where feelings don’t matter and money is more important and being selfish is normal and hurting others for his gain is okay. It’s not. I want him to find someone who loves him back as much as he loves them. To have kids if he chooses too and put them first. Family is everything. Time is precious because it’s not within our grasps.
- Follow his dreams: I want him to make his own dreams to follow them to full extent. Sky’s the limit. I don’t want him to think he is obligated to anything else but what he wants as a career.
- Money isn’t everything: I want to teach him that time is more valuable than money. Money comes and goes but it’s the small moments in life that make it worth wild.
- To be selfless, travel and enjoy life: by these means I discovered the true meaning of what it is to feel alive and I want him to discover it because you learn so much from yourself your limits and your wants. The meaning of enjoying life isn’t parting and sleeping around it’s seeing more than where you live. Feeling more alive climbing Mount Everest. That’s the true meaning.
- Forgive: I want him to forgive and be forgiving because that’s the best thing you can do for yourself. To be compassionate and learn forgiveness sets you free no matter how bad you mess up or others do. To not let anyone run him over. Because that’s very important. There’s a limit.
Is it impossible that I want this for my child in a generation that doesn’t believe in any of these values anymore that everything is about being selfish.? I have strong beliefs and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I don’t believe in having people in and out of his life thinking it’s okay and normal when it’s not. I don’t want him to feel forced or obligated to go or be with someone when he doesn’t want too. I believe he has a voice and I want him to know it’s always heard. I don’t want him to be belittled or for someone to tell him his hopes and dreams are not achievable. I want him to follow his heart. To follow his dreams and not anyone else’s. Most of all I want to raise a good honest man. The kind that is hard to find now.